Sleepy Morning

After days of freezing temperatures and clear skies, today it is raining.  I wish nature had gotten its act together and made snow instead.  White, beautiful falling snow changes the way the world feels.  I'm not a fan of being locked away without the possibility of going somewhere (whether I choose to go somewhere or not) but I do love the magic and excitement that snow brings.  Not to mention that isn't better excuse for staying inside, bundled up, all day without guilt.

In what seems like another lifetime ago (last year), I would get up, shower, and dress before driving Kaylen to school.  This year, not so much.  After years of being presentable to drop kids at school, I now find myself in the drop off lane wearing sweats, a sweatshirt, and a baseball cap (to hide my "bed head" hair).  Depending on the day, of course.  If I need to go into the school for any reason, or need to go anywhere after school drop off, then I do get ready prior to leaving.  Otherwise, I just slum it and then come back home.  Depending on my schedule for the day, it could be 10am before I jump in the shower.  That would be today.  I'm sitting on the couch, under my favorite blanket, in sweats and a sweatshirt.  If I have to defend this laziness, I will add that I do all the things a mom needs to do to send her kids off for their day, morning chores are done, and laundry is underway.  It's just that I've gotten to the point where I'm ok not being 100% "world ready" when it is a stay at home day.

Speaking of stay at home days....I find, now that I live outside of the city, I have more and more stay at home days than I have "getting out in the world" days.  I know it isn't good for me and I know I feel better being in the world but everything is so far from here.  I often wish I hadn't moved to the country and instead had stayed in the city.  Everything was so close to my other house and I miss that. Mom how I miss that.  Even going to the grocery store is a challenge for me from this house.

There are pluses to being out here.  But there are negatives, too.  The ying and yang of life, I guess.

I miss my old life.  By comparison, my old life seemed so much easier.  So much more simple.  Is that just how memories are?  I know there were hard days, awful days, back then but time manages to softens the impact somehow.  I have a feeling that one day I will look back on these days and they will seem simple.

Life is odd.

I read something the other day...it was meant to be humorous, I think, but it is thought provoking for me.  A person died and got to where ever he went after this and the question asked of him was "somewhat was heaven like?"  Is it wrong that I hope like crazy that this life isn't the "happily ever after heaven" that we are told about?  Because if it is, that is a terrifying thought.